Wait,... who are you?:

Nobody. My real name is Jeremy. I'm meh years old, grew up in blech, and went to school at nyeh.

I like pie. I like Spider-Man. I can beat most children in a fight.

Why do you write?:

I started writing this blog in 2010 when I was 23. I was still in college and never-ever talked, but was also burdened by an overactive opinion gland. After countless discussions with myself that produced wisdom nuggets with zero applications, I decided to at least start writing them down. That could at least keep them from getting lost to time, and gave other people a way to see them. If anyone-at-all enjoyed it, at least it wasn't going absolutely nowhere.

These days it's to keep my synapses firing. I graduated, and without the mental exercise that comes with school, I needed a way to keep the engine running. It's also cool to keep a record I'll get to come back to and read when I'm older. Even now, when I go back and read my 2010 articles, it almost feels like someone else wrote them. Lots of them are so bad in so many ways that I cringe, though it does make me happy that there is a noticeable difference in the newest ones.

...Can I see your face?

Fresh. The top of this page has a banner with a picture of me. It's a comic that I have to tell people is a comic. When I'm trying to make sure girls don't talk to me, I look like this:

Yes, this is the best picture I could find.

What's your writing style?

I look up to these writers. Whether I successfully emulate them is debatable. In no particular order: 

- The columnists. Favorites are Dan O'Brien and John Cheese. 
- Maddox: creator of The Best Page in the Universe. One of the first, still one of the best. 
- Jerry "Tycho Brahe" Holkins of

Where do you put stuff that's not interesting enough to go here?

Where everyone else does, sillypants!

Tarts or Strudel? Help me.  

Tarts. Strudel at first seem to be the way to go, with their golden crust, jelly filling and fresh icing. But what Tarts lack in immediate resemblance to food, they make up for with pure flour-per-inch (or FPI). Your body is always anticipating starvation, knows what a calorie tastes like, and will thank you for it. 

Can't find it?